A Rather Hectic Day at Our House (warning: PG 13)

This was written during our first year of home schooling.  We had a young German student named Steffi staying with us, which added to the fun.

I have a daughter, Veronica, who is 1.5 years old.  Lance, my kindergardener, is  6, Jake, my second grader, is 8.  Steffi, our foreign exchange student, is 17.  This day is more hectic than most, but not as bad as some!  Some days go beautifully, but as you will see, this is not one of them.

6 am:  I am up before everyone to work out in the basement.  If I dont do it now, I never will!  Veronica is up, too, but she hangs out with dad upstairs.

7 am:  On good days I encourage the children to get up now. After my shower, I start breakfast and help get my German exchange student, Steffi, out the door to high school; she is in eleventh grade.  This morning she has managed to find the bananas I have been hiding from her.  She loves bananas, even, or perhaps especially, the green ones the ones we all want to get ripe first.  She will lovingly eat every one.  She does not understand why we don't eat them green and always explains that in the former East Germany, where she is from, there were never any bananas (and clearly no yellow ones).  She is a lovely girl and goes off to school looking ivory girl gorgeous everyday.

8 am:  By now Jake and Lance are up getting dressed.  Jake usually showers and both boys are responsible for getting dressed and cleaning their room before breakfast.  I go upstairs and find they are eviscerating a large old teddy bear saying, Mommy...here is your brain...here is your liver,  as they yank the stuffing out.  Xena, our dog, is helping by barking and mouthing the fallen stuffing and eyeing the bear hungrily.  I remind them they are supposed to be cleaning their room and leave, wondering if they have violent tendencies toward me.

8:30:  I feed all three young ones.  Veronica loves to feed Xena her pancakes and continually tosses her pieces over the side of the high chair to the drooling dog.  I have trained this dog extensively and we have earned minor obedience titles. Veronica, though, seems to have done the best training ever and Xena sits near the high chair with Pavlovian loyalty at every meal.  I send the boys up to brush their teeth.  I go to the bathroom to check on them 20 minutes later and see Lance playing with a scary looking Robin (as in Batman and Robin).  He is dropping him in the tub over and over, saying, I am John the Baptist and I lost my head, oh noooooooooo!  Of course their teeth are not brushed.

9:00:  Today we start on time using a little Catholic workbook to prepare Jake for his First Communion.  We learn that eucharist means thank you but we all decide the rest of the chapter is bit silly and toss it aside.  What Jake needs to know is how to hold his hands to receive communion. So, we all begin role-playing with vanilla wafers and apple juice.  Veronica comes up for communion a number of times and I admire her dedication.  Lance notices V has a ripe diaper, so I attend to that as I ponder communion's effect on toddler digestion.

9:30:  We begin math.  Jake is starting to multiply by ten today in Saxon Math (2) and we are excited.  Lance, who is in kindergarten, is starting with Singapore Math 1A because mom is curious about it.  He is working with number fact families (2+7=9, 9-2=7, etc).  He claims he is doing the whole book today because it is so incredibly easy.  I tell Lance he is wearing me out with his math and we may need to take a break.  Jake can do his math almost by himself now.  We have had to jettison all the cortex-numbing repetition and we have Saxon down to a tractable and delightful 45 minutes.  Jake writes on his math sheet, Why is this math so slow?  I make a mental note to try and squeeze in a couple lessons a day sometime to go faster.

10:15:  Yup, still on schedule Jake starts his cursive handwriting page (Zaner-Bloser 2c), which he loves!  He works on the letter B and it looks fantabulous.  Lance now works on a page of Little Annie's Etiquette.  I have been finding his manners and personal skills lacking lately so I figure I will try this.  He does it dutifully, drawing some different kinds of faces.  Now look at this unhappy face, I suggest. Does anybody want to look at this unhappy face? No! Lance agrees, and we laugh. I have him do some copy work using some of the proverbs Barry Stebbings provides: A cheerful face brings joy to the heart.  He says later at snack time, Some kids are incredibly rude to people, but I am six and I am charming. I chuckle and say, Absolutely.

10:30:  Break time!  The boys don pads and helmets and go outside with their scooters to scoot.  Veronica has brought me her shoes and socks so we get them on, and we go outside too.  She and Xena, constant companions, regally plant themselves in the sandbox.  V begins to dump sand unceremoniously onto Xena.  I do yard work.

10:50: When Veronica begins dumping sand on herself (seeing how much Xena enjoyed it) and crying, I pick her up, shake the sand out of her hair, hope it will come out of her eyes (never did figure out how to get sand out of a childs eyes), take off her shoes, socks, diaper and carry her inside.  The phone rings and it is the Asbestos Guy calling me back wanting to talk about, uh, removing asbestos.  Then the Gas Guy rings the doorbell. We need a new furnace so he needs to come in.  He comes in, running in ahead of the dog, trying to avoid greeting her, I guess.  I put Veronica down, naked, and she runs to the drawer where sippy cups are stowed and grabs one and follows me.  She is pointing toward the fridge and saying, Miuh!  Mih!  I get off the phone with the Asbestos Guy and soon I hear the phone again.  I direct the Gas Guy to the basement and he heads down, saying, Nice doggie as Xena goes down with him.  Veronica's motions get frantic (Mam! Mam!  Miuh!) and she gets louder because I obviously do not understand that she wants milk, now!  I get the phone and it is the school nurse.  Steffi has sprained her ankle in gym.  It looks bad and I think you should come get her now.  As the nurse speaks, I can hear Steffi in the background, saying, Liz!  I am sorry, don't be mad.  I hang up, exasperated, but not mad.  Veronica is now banging me in the legs with multiple sippy cups and the tears are flowing!  I stop and get her some milk and pick her up.  We get her some clothes and a new diaper, too.

11:15: I go outside and yell for Jake.  I ask him to go get Steffi's crutches from the last time she sprained her ankle. I explain to the Gas Guy I need to leave and he ducks out, too, clearly aware that it would be poor form to remain alone in the house with a client's pet.  I refill the sippy cup and make an appointment at the doctor for Steffi and we all go to the High School to get her.  Jake proudly carries her crutches in, as if Steffi had been  wounded in battle: come home with your crutches or on them!  We get home around 12:00 and on the way home I ask her how she sprained her ankle.  She said, Oh, a sex competition. I figure I'll just wait til later to ask her again about that.  I make all four kids something to eat.  Her Dr. app is at 5 pm so I get her installed on the couch, foot elevated with ice (it does look bad).  I leave Steffi in the living room where Veronica attends to her.  Oh, Veronica, not on my ankle, please, I hear Steffi say as I leave the room.
So, tell me again, how did you sprain your ankle? I ask a few minutes later.
The coach, he told us to have a sex competition.  
He did, did he? Did you win, at least?  
No!  
Well, what were you doing using your ankle?  I am imagining telling this story to my husband later.
We were playing badminton.
 Ah ha!
So I explained to her the difference between sex competition and battle of the sexes.  She turned bright red and we laughed heartily.

1:00:  We are way off schedule!  Jake does a page of Spelling Workout C, lesson 16.  Lance is in Spelling Workout A, lesson 21.  We go thru them very fast, so I just ask for one page a day.  I then dictate a sentence to Jake, Shake not thy gory locks at me! which is too easy for him, but fun.  Dad has just read Lois Burdett's version of Macbeth to them (he does better brogues than I) and the boys have been shouting that line for a few days scooting down the hill bellowing it and so on.  I hope the neighbors don't think we are strange.  Then Jake does some grammar, the lesson where you read and then write the story of a crow.  He does this with dispatch and he gets another break.  I have Lance read aloud to me from Lois Burdett's rendition of A Midsummer Nights Dream:  (He picked it out: not me!)
Hermia protested, This law I defy!
I'll become a nun. I'll even die!  
I call to Steffi to take the ice off her ankle. I go in and see that Veronica has been generously showing Steffi about communion with the rest of the Vanilla Wafers. I pick up the box and brush the crumbs off Steffi. It is now time for Veronica to have her nap.  Whew!  I change her diaper and its off to bed.  Luckily she is tired and lies right down.  I see the boys have grabbed the box of dress-ups and are acting out The Tempest.  Oh, brave new world, that has such people in it.  Xena is Caliban because after all, she is not really human. Jake is the evil king.  Lance is Antonio.  They ask me to be Ariel, which is an honor, really, after the evisceration earlier in the day, but I must decline.  Steffi reads the book to them while they dress up

2:00: I am exhausted.  I have the boys go to their room and listen to a Garrison Keillor tape they love.  I walk out as Jake is rewinding the tape to a story about Keillor's early attempts at creative writing using the word booger.  I hear them giggling as I heat water for tea.  Not exactly fine literature, I think, but I need a sit down.  Steffi wants to hobble to the computer and burn some music onto a CD for a friend so she needs help with the software and with the hobbling for a minute.  After a wee rest I get out Wheelock's Latin and study the first declension: puella, puellae, puellae, puellam, puella, puella, pueallae, pueallarum, puellis, pueallas, pueallis, pueallae.
I also make some phone calls regarding house care and Dr. appointments etc

3:00:  I call the boys out from their rooms to begin history.  We are doing the Renaissance.  Today I read to them about Michelangelo from the Greenleaf guide.  I have them narrate much of it back to me: they are both good at it.   Lance declares that M is the best artist in the world, not quite believing M could paint the Cistine Chapel AND sculpt David.  Jake was really excited and asked if we could go to Rome some day.  I said I planned to when V got older.  I then have the boys color in a map of Italy and ask them to mark the towns where M lived. After this I give Jake some assigned reading, Fine Print, about Johann Gutenberg, as we did not get to it in the morning.  He reads about half of it.  I have Lance read Mike Venezia's story of Michelangelo (for kids) because he loves the cartoons in those books: Mommy, did you know M was carving chariots out of stone when he was a baby?!  I reminded him that cartoons are not as much factual as entertaining.  I hear Veronica so I get her.

4:30:  Whew! We are done!  This is much later than usual.  I have Jake quickly practice his piano while I get the younger two ready to take Steffi to the Dr.. We hear Puff, the Magic Dragon, over and over and over while I get shoes, diaper bag, sippy cup, Steffis crutches and insurance card ready.  

6:00:  We get home and I whip together some tuna fish sandwiches.  We all eat.  Steffi cleans up the kitchen on her crutches.  Steffis ankle is not too disfigured, as I thought.  I give the two younger children a bath.

7:30:  We all relax. I check my email and some web sites of interest.  Andrew, my dh, walks in.  Everyone literally attacks him with hugs as he rolls to the floor with them.  He gets them ice cream and has them brush their teeth, while he hears from everyone about all we did today.  Really? A sex competition?  Lance picks out a book for dad to read.

8:30:  I go to bed with Wheelocks.  I cannot read email since Steffi is managing to talk on the phone while she carries on three AOL IM conversations with friends on the computer, which is fine with me. Later, I tell Andrew about the battle of the sexes as I fall asleep, laughing.